Last post of 2017: La souffrance

C'est souvent seulement par manque d'esprit créateur qu'on ne va pas assez loin dans la souffrance. Et la réalité la plus terrible donne en même temps que la souffrance la joie d'une belle découverte, parce qu'elle ne fait que donner une forme neuve et claire à ce que nous remâchions depuis longtemps sans nous en douter.

Marcel Proust, Sodome et Gomorrhe

No rain, no mist, not even for the last expedition of this summer. High tide, receding. Stiff breeze from SSW, bringing humidity (93%). Arrived around 5 o' clock, which was far too early, seens as the sun didn't rise until 6:45. Time to contemplate dark space. The first drawing was made in half darkness.

Last weekend, visited Kröller-Müller. De Hoge Veluwe is breath-taking. Nature in all stages of growth and decay. Not cleaned up. Could spend a life-time just studying the trees. Have never seen so much moss in one place.
The museum: after revelling in Van Gogh's evolution, it seemed that so many of even his contemporaries, and more so later painters, are mere derivatives, blowing up one single aspect of his work. Happily surprised though, to enjoy paintings from various periods and 'isms'. However, very few equal Van Gogh's sincerity.

A few moments ago, as I shut the front door behind me, I left my parasol and folding chair behind the door and realized that once again, it was for the last time this year. End of summer fills me with dread, and makes me feel damn melancholic. A metamorphosis from butterfly to caterpillar.

Next summer.

 2017.8.24.1

 2017.8.24.2

 2017.8.24.3

 2017.8.24.4

 2017.8.24.5

 2017.8.24.6

2017.8.24.7

Herostratus

Een groots schilderij betekent iets dat een rijke Amerikaan wil kopen omdat andere mensen het graag zouden willen kopen als ze konden. Zo worden schilderijen op één lijn gezet, niet met gedichten of romans, maar met de eerste uitgaven van sommige gedichten of romans. Het museum komt op één lijn te staan, niet met de bibliotheek, maar met de bibliotheek van de bibliofiel. De beoordeling van schilderkunst komt op één lijn te staan, niet met de beoordeling van literatuur, maar met de beoordeling van uitgaven. Kunstkritiek valt geleidelijk in de handen van antiquairs.

Fernando Pessoa, Herostratus, 1925 (?) (transl. August Willemsen)

Clear weather, but had the benefit of a very early start. Leisurely breakfast in the dark. During the first drawing, the light of the waning moon threw the shadow of my left hand on the paper.

There is a short moment, just before daybreak, when the world comes into being. Nothing is, as yet, everything is becoming.
I couldn't say why, but it seems to me that with the daylight increasing, the world becomes less visible, not more.

 2017.8.16.1

 2017.8.16.2

 2017.8.16.3

 2017.8.16.4

 2017.8.16.5

 2017.8.16.6

2017.8.16.7

Entre deux infinis négatifs

Le peintre doit se rappeler qu'il regarde aussi avec tout son corps, encore plus qu'avec l'oeil.

Jean Bazaine

Upon arrival, greeted by a setting full moon.
High tide, ebbing.
Wind unmistakably from north-northeast (ca. 20 kmph), yet high clouds veiling the setting moon heading towards me, i.e. in opposite direction. With darkness diminishing, clouds in a middle layer of the sky slide in from a third direction: the east.
With all this contradiction, was hoping for lots of drama, but all in all rather quiet.
Saw a seal.

At the end of the morning, a cattle truck backed up on the dike, on its way to pick up the lambs that have grazed on the dike all spring and summer.

 2017.8.8.1

 2017.8.8.2

 2017.8.8.3

 2017.8.8.4

 2017.8.8.5

 2017.8.8.6

2017.8.8.7

Nageur en détresse

Nous ne plongeons pas volontiers dans les flots et ceux

 qui s'y hasardent ne sont que des nageurs avertis,

 la peinture a besoin de nageurs en détresse.

Jean Bazaine

Calm, clear morning. Climbing the dike in the dark, it was so quiet that it felt like entering a room without switching the lights on.Westerly breeze. Promised cloud cover didn't come until I was ready to leave.
Saw at least five humans. One, a young mother jogging while pushing a pram with baby (only in Holland), spoke words at me as she passed behind me: "Heerlijk hè. Lekker aan het schilderen of tekenen?..."
Time to leave.

 2017.8.1.1

 2017.8.1.2

 2017.8.1.3

 2017.8.1.4

 2017.8.1.5

 2017.8.1.6

2017.8.1.7